1.  Keep it short and sweet - 30 seconds to 3 minutes.

2.  Keep it clean.  Stay away from stories involving partying, getting it on, or embarrassing moments.  No dirty or crude jokes.

3.  Speak from your heart.  Tell an endearing story of the couple’s courtship.  Avoid long winded stories about childhood.

4.  The couple’s personality, family, and ceremony set the tone.  Keep in mind how conservative and/or religious the couple and their families are.  If the ceremony and reception is very formal, leave the jokes at home.  When writing your toast, keep these three items in the back of your mind.

5.  Relax.  It can be nerve racking to be the center of attention and make a meaningful speech in a room of virtual strangers.  Stand up, speak in a clear, even tone, avoid "um(s)" and using the word "like" repeatedly, hold the microphone at your chin, annunciate your words, and make eye contact with different guests across the room and the happy couple.

Good luck!

Instead of something blue, be different, and try something GREEN.  Raise the eco-awareness of your guests by having a simple and elegantly GREEN wedding.

• For your favors, make a donation in your guests’ names to companies that invest in renewable energy.
• Choose a venue or location that practices green initiatives like recycling, water conservation, or solar panels.  www.greenhotels.com
• Use organically grown flowers
• Print your invitations on recycled paper with soy ink
• Ask your caterer to use local, organic foods and donate all leftovers to local shelters
• For decor, use natural, local elements that are free such as pinecones, seashells, and stones
• Replace regular candles with soy-based candles that are clean-burning
• In your engagement ring and wedding bands, use conflict free diamonds
• Register for energy efficient appliances and organic sheets

1. Will you be the photographer shooting our wedding?  If not, can we meet the person who will be?
2. Will you bring a second shooter?  Can we meet them as well?
3. How many times have you specifically worked as a wedding photographer?
4. Will we receive a CD of all the digital images?
5. Have you ever shot a wedding at our venue or location?
6. How would you describe your style?  Traditional or photojournalistic?
7. Do you shoot digitally or with film?
8. What kind of equipment will you bring with you?
9. How many pictures will you take?
10. Do you charge by the hour or offer packages of unlimited coverage of the entire day, including the pre-wedding preparations?
11. Are you familiar with our style of wedding?
12. What kind of input can we have on the direction of the shots?  Can we provide you with a shot list?

The basics of a wedding are all the same, no matter who the couple is.  Here’s a list of opportunities to put your personal mark on your wedding.

1.  Ask your caterer to prepare you or your finance’s favorite dish or your grandma’s holiday pie that’s a family tradition.

2.  Design a personal logo as an element of decor throughout your wedding - invitations, menu/place cards, lighting, favors, and cake toppers

3.  Instead of the tried and true wedding march, have your ceremony musicans play a song that’s special to the both of you.

4.  Design your own wine.  At the reception or cocktail hour, service wine that you’ve made yourselves.  Try Crushpad in San Francisco.  If you’re in an area without wineries, create your own wine lables.  Try www.bottleyourbrand.com

Here’s a simple outline of items that will make planning your rehearsal dinner easy-breezy.  The rehearsal dinner will set the tone for the wedding and it may be the first time that the wedding party can mix and mingle.  Wedding etiquette dictates that the groom’s family will host the rehearsal dinner.

• Choose a location with a private room with a relaxed atmosphere and style that compliments your wedding
• Choose a pre-selected menu & signature drink/cocktail to compliment your food choices
• Any person that is part of the rehearsal should be allowed to bring their significant other to the rehearsal dinner
• Allow at least 3 hours for your rehearsal dinner 
• Begin with introducing each guest
• Toast and thank the parents of the Bride & Groom
• Thank the wedding party and present them with gifts of appreciation and thanks
• Surprise your groom with a groom’s cake for dessert!

Every movie with a wedding scene always has the bride and groom happily making a grand exit from the ceremony or reception as all their guests surround them with well wishes and love as they start a new life as husband and wife.

What happened to the grand exit?  I love this part of the wedding.  The Grand Exit has somehow faded away from wedding ceremonies and receptions.  Now, it seems like guests rush off after the ceremony to avoid traffic jams trying get to the reception site.  On the other hand, receptions fizzle like a night club when the lights come up and the bride and groom are left with a handful of straggling guests.

Bring back this classic tradition and plan a Grand Exit with style.  Your guests can send you off with rose petals, bubbles, or sparklers.  Don’t forget about the time honored tradition of decorating the get away car with "Just Married" decorations.  It’s such a great moment to capture via photo or video.    

Let your wedding planner, photographer, and DJ/MC know what time you will be making your grand exit and they will alert and coordinate your guests for you.

P.S. No confetti - it’s too messy.  It gets stuck in your hair, eyelashes, cleavage, etc.

Weddings are tricky & fabulous at the same time.  For some strange reason, weddings cause people to go crazy, get stressed out, and accidentily offend their friends and family.  Here is some wedding invitation etiquette that will keep you out of hot water.

DOs

• Call guests to verify their attendance if they have not responded by the RSVP date
• Make sure the names of your guests are spelled correctly
• Send children of relatives that are 18 years and older their own invitation
• Invite the partners of guests who are married, engaged, living together, or involved in a long term relationship
• Send an invitation to your officiant and their significant other
• Send your parents and wedding party invitations as keepsakes
• Put return postage on reply cards

If you don’t want children at your wedding DO: 

• Omit the children’s name from the invitation
• Have friends & family pass the word that you do not want children at the wedding
• Add one of the phases to the reply card:  "Adult reception" or "# of seats have been reserved in your name"

DON’Ts

• Include "cash only gifts" wording.  It is considered rude to request cash for a wedding gift
• Include your registry information.  This information can be communicated through friends and family or your wedding website.  Registry information can be included with the bridal shower invitaiton.
• Send invitations to guests that you assume will not be able to attend.  Only send invitations to the number of guests that your budget can accomodate.
• Forget to proofread your invitations.  Have a friend or relative read it over as a second pair of eyes.
• Include reply cards for the ceremony only.  This is only appropriate if their will be NO reception

Music is everything at any event.  Music will set the mood and attitude of your wedding.  At your wedding:

• The song playing as you walk down the aisle will frame the moment where you begin a new chapter in your life
• The songs during your ceremony makes your guests excited to share in special day
• The song played during your first dance tells your love story

With all the different types technology - MP3s, IPODs, DJ software, Itunes, etc., there is bound to be a few flubs due to human error or compatibility issues. 

Make sure you have all the special songs for your ceremony and wedding burned on a CD just in case your DJ is having technical difficulties.  Give the back up CD to your wedding planner, maid of honor/best man, or a good friend for safe keeping in case a technical difficulty arises.

If you’re using the church’s sound system, do a trial run with their staff at the rehearsal.  No one wants to walk down the aisle in silence, to the wrong song, or from the tiny speaker of a portable CD player or IPOD.

As Rihanna says, "Please don’t stop the music!"